I’ve worked in the field for over a decade, but as I have not mastered the art of “perfection” (and probably never will). I had this sinking feeling that I would fall short of the other professionals around me. I would be judged and found unworthy.
So off I went, trying to hide any vice that would separate me from the supreme. Fearing that I would be found for the fraud that I felt like I was. It is a difficult place to be. Little did I know that the more I immersed my authentic self with others in my profession, the more I would learn to accept myself.
So if you have ever felt that way, in any situation, here is a little pearl of wisdom: Everybody Poops!
Yep, I said it.
What exactly does that mean? It means that everyone has their own struggles, their own crap. The fact is, no one is perfect. The sooner I was able to stop looking down on myself while putting everyone else on false pedestals, the more serene and easier my life became. We tend to get so caught up in comparing our insides to the outsides of others that we sometimes forget to remember that we are all human.
I come from a rough past. So what. Everyone has a past.
I have a couple vices that I cringe of thinking my peers would ever see. So what. Those are mine to own.
I have found that the more I am able to accept myself, stop apologizing, stop justifying the parts of me I am not proud of, and show who I truly am, the more others feel at ease and respect me. Those who don’t would find something else to judge about me anyways.
We all get one shot at life, why do it with our tail between our legs?
We have what we have to work with and we are where we are. Fighting it is futile. Personally, I have found that growth only occurs when I have given up the fight and found myself in a place of acceptance.
For example, I am in recovery and have been removed from a lot of things that I had lost all control over. While I was working full-time as a personal trainer, yogi, ect, I hated that no matter how hard I tried, I could not give up smoking. I was so ashamed. I knew all of the horrible effects and the more I fought it, the worse it was.
I finally got to a point where I became honest and not hide it from my clients. Clients actually respected me more for being open with them. Each and every one had their own things that they struggled with. The funny thing is, when I had to leave personal training due to my health, literally the next week, I quit smoking.
This also means that it creates more peace in me. When I stop comparing myself to others, I am not constantly judging others or myself. I just see things as they are, people as they authentically are. Not as being right, wrong, or (shudder) perfect.
When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we cease constantly judging others or ourselves. @ashliepappas
It’s funny when we come to that point and realize how neurotic we really are. It is slightly disturbing, but a great place, because when proper action is taken, it almost always leads to growth.
So what are these vices you may wonder? The ones that made me feel so inferior to everyone? I drink diet soda and I use a 0 nicotine vape. If you are falling off your chair and gasping. Don’t know what to tell you, other than you should have known me 10 years ago, I’ve come a long way.
Do these things take away all of my value? Not even close.
Do I advocate that either are good for you? Absolutely not.
Do either take away my education, experience, or value as a wellness professional? Quite the opposite. It means I know what it’s like to have a couple skeletons that aren’t ready yet to be banished and I know how to move past it and work with what is ready to change to get results.
I see this all the time where people know they should make changes, but they aren’t quite there yet. They fight it, they hide it, and it makes them miserable. With me, I know that I will be ready at some point, probably not even that far from now. I did give up soda all together for a year, hoping it would improve my health. It didn’t and it wasn’t worth white knuckling it every single day.
I had to be honest with myself and admit I just am not there yet. When people I work with get to this point of self-honesty, it is usually when big changes can be made in other areas that may not be so difficult to let go of.
It was actually how I lost over 100 pounds. Baby steps. Determining the things that I was ready to change instead of fighting in areas where I wasn’t. Over time they added up to big changes and the list of things I was ready to change grew. Like I said, you should see what my vices were a decade ago, or 15 years ago.
So I am slowly learning that when I hide part of me, I hide all of me. I am not one of those people that does deception well. Sure there may be things that are no one’s business, but to me I am pretty transparent. The exciting thing about this, I’m not done growing. I never will be. There will always be room to grow and the fact that I see areas that I want to improve is a blessing.
My challenge to you: Embrace who you are RIGHT NOW! No apologies, no excuses! You are a miracle just as you are in this moment.
If you need a little extra help to get the ball in motion, no worries. The free I Love Me 5 Day Challenge is right here for just this purpose!
My question to you: How do you deal when you want to make changes and know you are not quite ready to make them yet?
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