Do you ever procrastinate on a project because you haven’t figured out how to best do it?
Are you hyper critical of everything you do?
Do you set lofty goals and beat yourself up or even give up when you don’t achieve them?
I call this standing in your own way. It’s a form of self-sabotage.
My life does NOT move in linear fashion. It’s not up up and away, nor is it a downward spiral, it’s more of a rollercoaster that ebbs and flows. I have periods where it seems like I have everything on lock down, I easily get all of my tasks finished and I do them well. I have time for everything, and there is plenty of peace and serenity.
I also have periods where it feels like one slight breeze could easily send my entire life into demolition. Where everything seems like it’s spinning and I’m struggling to keep my head above water. The ironic thing is for all intents and purposes, from an outside viewpoint, it all looks the same.
Has anyone ever commented on how well you keep it all together and you’ve secretly wondered what drug they were on?
Yeah, me too.
The difference between my life when it is peaceful and my life when it’s in chaos has very little with any circumstance, but more to do with me.
With my outlook and attitude.
Here are some of the little things that make a big difference in my quest for perfection:
I know I beat this into the ground, but MEDITATE!
It helps enable me to stay in the moment. When I am in the moment, I am not worried about an outcome. I simply am. I am engaged in my own life, taking things as they come. Not orchestrating 18 million different scenarios in my head figuring out what I will do if any of them ever actually happen. During the times that I don’t regularly meditate, I find that instead of taking on my life at that moment, I am fiddling around in the past, present, and future. Way more than my plate has any business piling on it.
Be forgiving to yourself.
Morbid reflection has NEVER resulted in time reverting and actions being changed. It’s pointless. Learn from what you may like to change in the future and move the heck on. I am human, you are human. I mean if you want to get down to brass tacks here, if you ever want to realize just how awesome you really are, think about the actual odds to make it to a fetus and actually be born. You won out over 20-100 million other competitors to even exist. Puts whatever you are battling into a little more perspective, huh?
I know that it can be momentarily motivating to great grandiose goals, but unless we have a plan of action that is realistic, we may as well be trying to box jump onto the top of the Empire State Building. It just sets us up for failure and nothing is more demotivating that a big list of great ideals that we stamp with a big “FAIL” across. Know what you are capable of, know where you would like to grow, and create realistic plans of action. It will also boost your self esteem and who doesn’t want that?
Adapt when necessary.
You may have ideas of what your life or an outcome should look like. You may even have a reasonable plan of action to get there. But somewhere along the line it just doesn’t feel right. You know what I mean, that feeling in your gut telling you that you are headed the wrong way. It’s easy to stand firm and say “But THIS is my plan of action!” but if you are being honest with yourself and it really doesn’t feel right (versus just having a lazy day or a bad case of the “I don’t wannas”) then it may be time to reassess what you are doing.
Acceptance- learn it, practice it.
Like I said, my life is not linear. I have good days, bad days, and more times than not just days. I can’t change anything other than my actions and reactions, trying to change anything outside of that is wasted energy I could use in a more productive manner. The moment I quit fighting something I have no power over, the moment I find peace. It’s also the moments that I realize that me, my life, everything in the world is perfect in that moment, exactly as it is.
Just do it!
Nike knew what they were talking about when they deemed this their tagline! Any forward movement is progress, as little or great as it may be. I believe that we’re either moving forward or backwards. Little actions add up to big results. It may take longer, but I find this usually creates a more solid foundation as well.
Imagine someone who spends $5/day on fancy coffee drinks, well if this is something that is truly important to their happiness (who am I to judge?) then it is probably worth it to them, but to someone like me who could take it or leave it, refraining would save $1825/year. That is a little more than pocket change. But let’s let go of perfection here. Say you normally go daily, cutting it in half would save you almost $1000/year. Little change, big result.
Another example is when I started working out. I committed to doing it 4 days a week at least 10 minutes. 10 minutes? WHAT? Yeah, 10 minutes. (I was almost 100 pounds heavier when I started exercising again and my big goal seemed impossible at that time.) I know that I can do almost ANYTHING for 10 minutes. Most of the time I would exercise for an hour, but on those days that it was the last thing I wanted to do, the 10 minutes was doable, it got me in my workout clothes, it got me moving, and it usually ended up being more than 10 minutes, but those times that 10 minutes really was all I had in me. I still made some progress. I didn’t pound that “Fail” stamp on my daily balance sheet. My body still got the benefit of moving even if it wasn’t in a grand gesture.
I have to revisit these on a pretty regular basis to make sure I am not outgrowing my britches (which never ends well!). I can tell you though, life is much easier when you employ these 6 simple disciplines.
Click below to practice my 10 minute Simple Breathing Meditation.
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Tell me how you manage it below!
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