One thing I have learned through the years of working in the wellness industry is that many people struggle with being able to put themselves first. It’s almost considered selfish these days. This leads me to…
Why do you care if someone thinks you are selfish for taking care of you?
At least it is a question I ask myself.
I’m not sure where I acquired the innate desire to please everyone around me, even when it meant surrendering my own well-being in the process. Where I learned the flawed concept that I needed to always be agreeable. That going against the grain was a mortal sin. That if my voice was viewed as unpleasant to the ears of someone I cared about or looked up to, then it is better to keep it to myself.
For a long time, I turned to science for validation. I knew that if I could refer to sources, to scientific evidence, then what I was saying would be important enough to stand behind. Lord knows, my words alone wouldn’t fit the bill…
Or would they?
Have you ever lost the ability to trust in yourself?
It’s miserable. It is the direct effect of surrendering the ability to judge your own worth. Over and over again.
- Make Time for Yourself – Make it non-negotiable. Include your self-care rituals (if you don’t have any, experiment with some until you find ones that fit), include leisure, not work and errands, those things don’t go in this time. This is your time to fill your cup.
- Be Present – I prefer to practice meditation every morning, but you can also do things like journaling, coloring, yoga, etc. The big point here is learning to slow your mind. Multi-tasking is a dangerous temptress in this one, taking things one by one helps keep you in the moment, plus you are more productive this way.
Celebrate You – There are lots of ways you can do this! Gratitude lists on what you are grateful for in you and affirmations for self-validation are awesome ways to practice this. Go a step further, get that massage you never have time for, take that trip, or even take a pity party and turn it into a celebration by pumping some tunes and dancing around!
- Be Gentle – Both with yourself and with others. Learn how to be forgiving and accepting of yourself, but also with others. It’s crazy how those things you judge in others are usually under your skin because they are things you don’t like within yourself. If you make peace within yourself, the actions and behaviors of others won’t bother you near as much.
- Learn How to Respectfully Disagree – Don’t get me wrong, not everyone needs to know when you don’t agree with them. If it is something that directly affects you, speak up, don’t stuff it. It doesn’t need to include judgment or arrogance. I always thought disagreement meant conflict. It doesn’t have to.
- Let Go Of the Need to Be Understood or Liked – Not everyone is going to like you. That’s okay. Not everyone will (or want to) understand you. Again, a-okay. You do not need permission to feel the way you feel or think the way you think. It is always good to have an open mind, but again, that is completely up to you. You have one life and you are responsible for your happiness. Always seeking approval rarely is part of the road to happiness.
Making these shifts will take time and lots of practice, especially if it is a new concept to you. I can tell you wholeheartedly it will be worth all of the time and all of the effort put into it.
Be kind, be loving, but please, please let that beautiful voice be heard and take care of you!
Flip the world the bird and start taking care of you with this free 3 Days of Self-Care Challenge. You can thank me in four days.
Do you struggle to take care of yourself? What are some of your go-to secrets of keeping your cup filled?
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